Thursday, February 10, 2011

College Essay

     I had many barriers in my life that I had to cross, but I remember one above all others: my first real challenge. Like many other people I know, was bullied in my elementary school. It all started in kindergarten.
     Many people have many embarrasing events happen to them in their early childhood, like falling in a mud puddle and getting all dirty, getting toilet paper stuck to your foot and not noticing it...
One of the most embarrasing events in my life was this: I accidentally swallowed a quarter in kindergarten, just another little kid in an embarrasing situation. Most people have something embarrasing happen to them, people laugh about it, and then the memory fades away.The only reason the memory didnt fade away for me was that a little boy (I dont want to tell anyone his name) had noticed. And this little boy was the talkative type. He quickly told all of his friends, who told their friends, and thats how the story usually spread throughout the class. In first grade, the little boy and his friends started teasing me: they spread nasty rumors, they would walk up to me and say "Hey, it's the girl who swallowed a quarter!". I didn't know what to do.
    With every year the teasing got worse and worse, and I was really glum about the whole situation. But in third grade, I was a lot smarter than I had been before: I knew I had to take action if I wanted the bullies to stop.
     I went to the office and told the counselor of my problems with the bullies, and nobody was bothering me the next day. I couldn't believe how easy it had been to get rid of my big problem! My expirience with bullies in elementary school taught me a lot: It taught me that you have to be brave and take action to make your life better.

4 comments:

  1. I think i might know who did that to you and that was very wrong. I think you did the right thing by not getting into it and putting yourself in troubple. you have overcame, what he had said to you, and that displays that you are mature. Im pretty sure the colleg you are looking for will accept you... good luck in your (fake) carrer...

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  2. It's sad to see someone go through that. I was also bullied one time in summer camp. I kept worrying about getting the other person in trouble instead of worrying about how that person didn't care about my feelings. Like you, I was brave enough to tell my mom and she took care of it. It didn't stop right away, but it did get better. I hope you get into the college you like the most.

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  3. Nice job, Alisa. If this were real thay would have definatly accepted you. I really liked the points you made. Great job hope you get your job on friday. I'm sure you will.

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  4. Alisa, this was a very well-written post. You were able to really evoke emotion in the reader, which is one of the main purposes of effective writing. On a personal level, I feel awful that such an experience happened to you, but I am glad that it taught you how to cope with a negative type of situation. As others had mentioned in their comments to you, I am sure that had this been the essay for a real college application, your chances for getting in would have been greatly enhanced! Nice job!!

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